depression · life · math

The truth…

The truth is…

I don’t think I am good at math. It’s my worst subject and I’m in it because it’s a challenge. I believe I told you this at some point. In your position you should be convincing me this is wrong. But you haven’t. Congrats. For once in your life you’re failing at something.

The truth is…

I know exactly where your attention lies. We’re the same fucking age. Grow up. I see it. I’m observant.

The truth is…

She told me you’re intimidated by me. I don’t know why. But the fact that you use my success to bring someone else down is the most heinous of acts. I feel bad for you. You’re disgusting.

The truth is…

You fool no one. With your fake blonde girlfriend who you prey on because she so desperately wants a family. Shit, she’s my advisor and told me…so I’m pretty sure the guy she’s driving home from the bar knows. Stop using her. That’s disgusting. What if someone treated your sister like that?

The truth is…

That stupid speech you gave me two nights ago WORKED. I cried my way home thinking someone actually believed in me at this school and Id been overreacting the entire time. No. You were just feeling me out to see if I in fact knew you were fucking my friend. Well I didn’t. But I do now. And I suspect you fucked that other girl in Arizona.  And Probably that chick who didn’t know the definition Of a derivative. You’re transparent as hell.

The truth is…

I knew since fall quarter you were going to fuck me over. I should never have asked you for a letter of recommendation. I’m glad you didn’t break my heart for that REU I never asked about. Remember this, my intuition is impeccable.

The truth is…

Dr. Dreamcrusher fucked my friend + classmate and violated FERPA laws by telling her how my grades were better than hers. Then told her details of several conversations I told him in confidence to intimidate her. Then after she stopped talking to him he told me he was concerned about her behavior last quarter, trying to see what I knew. At the same time while having a date with his girlfriend who is my faculty advisor. Oh yeah, I totally saw you flirting with that girl from the program right in front of her. You’re a fucking asshole.

I feel like I’m in a lifetime movie that is unreal. But this is what I learned tonight.

Welcome to a New school year Dr. Dreamcrusher. You’ve ruined my undergrad experience. Be prepared to meet actual bitch me.

Oh yeah. You’re also my research advisor. You’re fucked.

Maybe just as much as you fucked me over.

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